21 September 2009

ungrounded: soaring in clarity without reason

Currently I am not scared. Right now I know I can do this...that I'm making this work and wouldn't like it if I weren't working for it. Coded words are flowing and once again non-sense returns to this crazy crazy keyboard. Have I been here before? Words drip from my mind and roll off my sleeve, the same that has been housing my heart *and with this I'm okay. I'm trusting...and it hasn't been broken yet. I trust it won't be anytime soon.
I've safeguarded enough to know that this comfort, the same that I found so misleading and deceiving, is just what it is. Comfortable. I hear it projected through speakers--I sleep on it soundly. Blaring is just a difference in magnitude and magnitude a variance of magnificence. I'm ready. I won't say it because I want it to be sure. I'm pretty sure when its concrete it will be already known. Good things are happening with time. Slow is more meaningful. I'm attempting more than understanding I'm becoming. Emotions don't overcome nor overwhelm (but they are clearly guiding). Providing a tour of this sanction and a garden for which to continue growth.
I'm no longer 19, but I was once, I'm no longer haunted though I've had my fair share of disappointments, and I'm certainly not waiting around or finding backups for what I've attempted in case I fall.
Damn it, this time I'm going to fall. This time I'm trusting...I've been scared enough for it in the past that fear itself escapes me and instead I am free. Free falling. Most definitely not in moderation or fragmented realities nor in fairy tales or splenda'd dreams.
I. AM. AND. FOR. THAT. I. WILL. CONTINUE. FOR THAT I WILL FALL. because that is me soaring, for once these feet aren't touching the ground