Weaving: Memories. Intermingling. Uncertainty

Today I find myself missing my best friend on her birthday. Seriously, why weren't we sisters....it should've happened. hahah I think back to that one time when we were at Marc's house :) We were talking about sisters and Abby said "well we can be. My mom can be your mom". I responded by saying how weird that would be and she said "well technically, your mom isn't your mom either". We just cocked our heads in silence and then burst out laughing.
I miss you :(
:) I love you :)
And I hope you get your present soon, because it's pretty awesome...

Transitioning....I'm glad I've met the people I have, and am extremely grateful for my groups of friends on this current ice rink of a campus. As the days go on, I more positively view life, more often I see reason in the unreasonable, and question less the practicality in impossibility. Despite a heavy work load, and uncertainty in everything I'm doing--despite the fact that I sometimes feel myself failing or doubting, or wishing or wanting * I just know that everything is working out. I am happy and slightly proud of all of us, the solid bonds we've formed(but even more so the one's we've broken), and the way we help weave our lives, sharing string or wicker or whatever the hell you weave with.

Thinking about it, I guess we weave our memories and share them amongst ourselves. I like this sharing.
So thank you.

In another relative notation-- I feel a shift, a changing starting to encapsulate. Not sure if the change is going to take me, or whether or not I'll like it. It's stuck on potential...just resting. But I feel it's there. Not quite sure how I feel about that yet, but no worries. Ya'll are here to stay.

And I'm not planning leaving anytime soon :)

a rounded freedom--a full life

I have no idea what I want from the life I'm living-- but something tells me it's all going to pan out. I want to look back and remember. Not question. Not want more or less from the times I can not change. I never go into something thinking...okay, so this is why and what I wish to gain. I simply ride the ride until I find myself wishing I was off.

I like circles, round about points with no end and no beginning. My life is a circle-- I don't know what the end result is going to be, and often find myself wondering when I'm going to choose to a straight path from clarified point A to distinct point B. When will the motion sickness take effect?

When I'm looking back, I'm not sure if I'm going to regret the loops I've jumped from or the spheres of my life *but I don't know how to live any other way. So, it will just have to work and be alright. I'm in this to have fun.

So I'll ride the merry-go-round, the ferris wheel, the yo-yo, and the ring of fire

I'll live in circles full of indecision and open options--with little commitment and little concern. Enjoying every moment...

...to the fullest

i've been watching, but i'm not a watcher

The world seems to be floating in a busy stagnation. I mean nothing really seems to be changing but I'm feeling the constant need to move and to do. The only problem is the my indecision and lack of motivation. Nothing seems very appealing, and on the occasion it does--as soon as I start I'm anticipating a change of activity.

My thoughts won't leave me but they won't stay. I'm stuck in mid-thought, mid-stare, mid-breath. Mid-ground. I'm stuck waiting. Between two worlds of movement and stillness. I stand wrapped in placid calmness. Fighting for motion. Left just breathing.

I like the game, the chase, the race, the fun. I want a hurling force to send my world back into motion. I want a frenzied catalyst to set my world back on point. To pick up my feet and sprint on my toes. To melt the ice and feel the pavement. To live continuously without lull.

I want

Forever yours, Time

Today was a weird day. There was no sun, yet rain did not fall. The weather was cold, yet the wind was not biting. And I survived the fast paced Thursday despite the risks it presented. It was just a queer ass Thursday. The first of many I am assured.

I'm falling in love with improv dance. But I'm having trouble listening. I hear myself and what I want to do--but everyone else is so foreign to me. I think its because I don't know many of them. They might as well be speaking Chinese or a quick Russian--because for every word I think they say *I am wrong. I'll find a balance.

I'm convinced that everything is just so weird now because everything is transitional. An awkward state of in between that I don't care to travel though, let alone rest in. It will pass--but the last six weeks have seemed similar to forever. I was hoping this week would be different. And, though it was...somehow, it still made week seven.

forever yours time... I await what the next week holds. I hope for you to be week one, because eight weeks is a long time. And as time goes on expectations and hopes are driven higher out of anticipation. Eight weeks is a long way to fall.

But week one. Week one is a beginning. Week one is closer to the ground.