Staring at the sun in all of its glory - a revelation of beauty

So--when thinking about life in general, I tend to boarder on an edge. I usually am looking below me, around me, above me. I'm looking for answers and find instead questions. I'm looking for a pathway--but instead I find obstacles. I'm often overwhelmed by tipping myself over the edge and falling. When one moves their head so face, attempting to soak up every image, a dizzying effect is gained. Fear consumes with the thought; the thought of falling. I don't know what is at the bottom and I wasn't always sure who would catch me.

I think I've finally figured. It's where I'm looking that isn't making sense. The act of dizzying myself by looking. It's where I'm looking that is providing my own vertigo. It's, ultimately, myself who can always catch me and I will ALWAYS have me.

I have this one place. This one place where I'm standing in my life right now. I'm moving without deliberated motion. I'm choosing without making choices. And I can't explain exactly why everything is happening. Somethings are degraded by language and understanding. Somethings just are. Without rhyme or reason they exist, they affect, they alter, they change all together into something different. This is okay.

Right now I've decided to look at where I'm standing. It's a beautiful place, now that I've gathered enough sense to look at it. It's not always bright and daisy like, but the juxtaposition and chiaroscuro contained in my little plot of life is balanced. The composition is quite breath taking. I've decided to take it all in. To appreciate this plot of ground, to remain standing where I do, and to continue allowing life to serve whatever it may. I can deal with it when it comes. What cares do I have otherwise. I don't.

I am, overall, glad. Bursting with energy and anticipation for the next day. Knowing that I can breathe and live. Knowing that my plot of life is mine own and I may leave and then again I may return.

I am happy. Happy with myself, my prospects. Falling epiphanies from the branches of my brain; I am happy. I am contented that I am in control of me. I am joyous that I can appreciate in the now, instead of looking back and regretting how I'm feeling at this moment. Wishing that I had lavished more of myself in the warm soil that is me, that is my life, that is my choice.

Challenge yourself. Just do it. Serve your eggs sunny side up and imagine a smile in the yolk. Treat yourself to inward thinking without feeling selfish. Indulge in everyones' company because they'll teach you (even lessons you won't want to learn will further your own process). Surround yourself in your moods' ambiance...and decide.

Decide whether you are happy or will become happy. If you aren't; Change. Change the world. Change your luck. Change your life. Move to a different plot of land until you are happier than you've ever been before. Do what is right for you and bathe in the feelings surrounding. Walk in the light of yourself.

Experience....just because you can.

And if you feel you can't Trust Yourself; Trust me.

You Can :)