Embrace in Raining Retrograde

Streets. They careen against the falling sun and straighten out with the rise. A connection. A place we go to find ourselves, to find someone we knew long ago, or to assert who we are; who we think and want to be all at once.

A passage. Time is past. It dies and all we can be is driving. All we can be is driven. All we can be is that state of controlled lost. We listen to our self or we block it out by blaring someone else's words to which some part of us is attached; singing along we make them our own. Grasping to understand, even when we are running. Forward and side to side, but mostly backward. How many times are you returning behind the steering wheel. Creatures of habbit; we work in a retrograded state of return. Turn left at the next light, unless it red then continue straight-- we'll get there some day.

In the passenger seat, I'm a melted shotgun twisting to become the car. Let my eyes be the side window. Let me feel the wind billowing off the lakes. Let it sting and make the tears burn from my eyes as I drive back. 0 to 60 in 20 seconds: I've learned how to operate, how to adapt, how to become the car. Melted and twisted silver frozen behind a seatbelt.

I'm full of blanks; small spark followed in smoke. I redefine constantly and find myself traversing more boarders and using more lines. On the edge, just waiting for a push of encouragement, I've envisioned it. I swear I can hold the feeling without ever experiencing it before; my throat in my stomach, the rush of air, and the deep embrace of dark. It feels squishy and surrounding this forgetfulness, this forgiveness. Squishy and surrounding, but what to do with it?

 This is not the time. There is no burning passion, just stinging eyes and I can't seem to see anymore through all the haze. The cold front is coming in and the pressure in my head is building. It's all building toward something I can not see, even with my brights it is hidden for me...from me.

Slips. Slippery slips back in your retrograded return. Who are you now?

Hold me in the asphalt, surround me---- I want to curve with the road for once. Envelope me...




Watch it. Watch the heavy rain dance on-- careen with me, curve with me...

Embrace